This weekend was extremely productive AND relaxing for me.  I had planned on sharing about my experience and how it came about—mainly the topic of selfishness.  However, this morning when I woke up, I had an incredible urge to write and really verbalize something that I have been mulling around for a while.   Something that I’ve wished to share but always held back.  Out of fear of how it would be received, out of a lack of confidence on if it was truly what I was supposed to be sharing and if it was good enough.

I’ve been through a lot in my life. There have been a lot of tough lessons and downright horrible experiences.  I wouldn’t wish them on anyone. At the same time, I understand that we all must go through our own stuff in order to learn and to figure out what it really means to be ourselves– To really come alive.  I feel like I have finally found a way to communicate my experience and my lessons into practical knowledge that can help others navigate through their own shit storms and come out on the other end free, content, and totally loving their lives. I’m currently referring to this as mf105-pattern801.

Feeling alive is much more than going through the motions of life. We all know what that feels like. We drag ourselves out of bed, drag the kids out of bed, rush off to work and school, go through the daily tasks and stresses, come home, rush through dinner then on to kids activities, workouts, maybe even more work or a drink or two to help us “relax”.  At the end of the day we’re exhausted, and sometimes (okay, most of the time) we feel like we were constantly going but nothing gets accomplished.  We don’t stop to look at the clouds or the changing of the leaves. We don’t check in with our kids or our spouses.  We walk around telling everyone we’re “fine” and “everything is going great” but we’re so disconnected from how we’re really feeling to even know that things AREN’T fine and going great.

There is so much more to life.  We are meant to enjoy our work. We are meant to enjoy our food. We are meant to enjoy our families and friends. Not only are we meant for these things, we deserve them. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to feel fulfilled. We deserve to take care and love ourselves. We deserve to live our lives the way we want to. We deserve to feel so vibrant and alive that it radiates out to everyone we meet.

Look, my life isn’t perfect.  I don’t feel like I’m anywhere close to that.  There’s so much I want to change. I’m slowly getting there one small step at a time.  Sometimes there are five leaps in the opposite direction, and I’m constantly having to course correct in order to continue forward. Even with all of this, I have found a way to be content.  Am I happy all of the time? No; not at all. Do I lose it and freak out? Yes; quite often. I’m human. These are human emotions and experiences. It happens.  But I’ve learned how to deal and navigate through these times so that I am able to continue forward without getting stuck in deep depression, despair, loneliness, and pain.  The 3 A’s are what have helped me.

#1: Alignment

 Where is my body and life out of alignment?  How is my diet and nutrition? Am I moving? Am I getting the rest that I need?  What can I do to reduce stress?

#2: Awareness

This is the mental work.  Understanding what I want and why I want it. How my beliefs and thought patterns are helping or hurting me.  Where have I disconnected from myself and others? How do I reconnect? What do I really need?

#3: Acceptance

How can I be happy even when my life sucks and it’s not what I want?  How can I forgive others when they’ve hurt me so bad? How do I let go and trust that everything will be okay? How do I love me if I’m afraid of or don’t like who I really am?

Answering these questions is how I’ve helped myself and this is how I can help others. It really is as simple as that. The journey isn’t easy. It’s not for everyone.  Sometimes it gets a lot worse before it gets better.  It takes a strong, courageous person to start this journey.  You have to be ready and willing to do the work; to look in the dark places that you’ve been afraid to look. You have to tear down walls and bust through ceilings. You have to be willing to destroy beliefs and habits. You have to be willing to become the hero of your own tale. Most of all, you have to be willing to take the first step.

Today and every day you have to opportunity to take that first step. Today and every day you have my support.